OK. So we all know Felicia is a very talented woman. Giant voice, skilled actress, and just all-around great gal. But hard work and talent alone will not get you far in the business of show. You need to be born with that special something that puts you over the edge: A great name. Alliteration people. That’s where it is, that’s where it’s always been. Gretta Garbo, Janis Joplin, Marilyn Monroe,Ozzy Osbourne? Icons all. And while the jury is still out on Jack Johnson, Lindsay Lohan and Amy Adams, they seem to know how to play the name game. Get those initials to match, and you’ve got a shot. No doubt, if my parents had named me Ulyssess, things could’ve been different for me as well.
Anyway, F.F. Love it. But I pose the question: is Felicia Finley the most famous F.F. of all time? The way I see it, here are the top 6. Why 6 you ask? Because like micro-brews and Rocky movies, all good things come in 6’s.
TOP 6. F.F.’s of all time.
6. Farrah Fawcett- 30 years ago? Easy top 2, but just tooo old and toooo bat-shit crazy to place any higher than this.
5. Franz Ferdinand- The Political figure, not the band. His assassination is widely credited for starting World War I. The band, well, they’ll be widely credited for being this generations’ Escape Club or Spin Doctors. Don’t believe me? Wait 3 years. Ok, Ok…. 2 years.
4. Freddy Fender- Big hit in the 70’s with “Wasted Days and Wasted Nights.” Now, Fred’s dead kids, Fred’s dead. This means…. No upside. He could soon fall off the top 6.
3. Flavor Flav- I know there’s a lot of love out there for Fab 5 Freddy, but I can’t allow the use of numerals. It’s cheating. It’s like drum machines or fake boobs. On the surface it may be an improvement, but get in close and those things will poke your eye out. Seriously, don’t get to close to a drum machine.
2. Felicia Finley- Now, her turn as Jody in “25th Hour ” would’ve easily got her in the top 6, but with the release of this record, she’s conquered yet another medium. Still, as much as I want it to be so, she’s just not the most famous F.F. of all time.
1. Fred Flintstone- Even though he loses points for being fictional, he makes a strong case. While it’s easy to dismiss him as just a great bowler, remember, he and his buddy Barney basically united the world with their rendition of “Old McDonald.” And any fan of the Way-Out’s is OK with me.